Corona Viper is working from home. Corona Viper has enough toilet paper to get him through this. Corona Viper is NOT panicking. Nope. Not panicking. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine.
…Corona Viper is speaking to himself in the third person. Corona Viper has been alone in his apartment for 16.. 18.. 21 days?! This all started on Friday March 13 (and don’t think he didn’t notice the coincidence there, oh, he did!) when they told his school not to come back after spring break. Not that that mattered. Corona Viper is a grad student in his 30s. He was at home working on his thesis in his one bedroom apartment during spring break. He should have gone to visit someone… but he had work to do…and he never thought something like THIS would happen!! Not panicking. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine.
So now here he is, TA-ing his classes on Zoom, teaching his boomer professors how to use it (having NEVER even heard of it before now himself) and trying to stay motivated as one day turns into another of drinking cheap wine from the only liquor store still open and wondering if because he lives alone he’ll die of the virus and nobody will notice until no one sends out the zoom meeting ID for his next class…