top of page

Kalegaroo has a Complaint: Manspreading

Hey guys, this is K. I’m taking over for a bit, because I have a few things I need to address about manspreading.

Look, we Millenimals travel a lot, and not just within our own city on trains and busses but we fly all over the country and some of us travel the world. And I have a serious issue with the #manspreading problem that is so incredibly bad in these situations.

I have a serious question to all those male-identifying man-spreaders out there: are you even remotely aware that there are OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU? Seriously! I want to know!

I feel like women are always really hyper aware of how much space they take up. Right, ladies? Trying desperately to compact yourself and your belongings as close to your bones as possible in order to avoid even the sheer possibility that a coat corner might fall somehow outside the zone of your seat or your elbow might brush the person next to you. But dudes just get on the train, plane, bus, car, whatever and seem totally oblivious other the people around them. It’s like you are completely invisible. I know that I am a small Kangaroo, I understand that, but I’M STILL MADE OF SOLID MATTER, YOU CAN STILL SEE ME!!

This is really obvious in planes and let me tell you why! Airlines seem to make the seats smaller and smaller, cram them together so they can fit as many people as possible onto a flight. We ALL know this --- it’s not new information. And BECAUSE we all know this, most of us know that generally, on a daylight flight, you don’t put your seat back.

Oh no? you don’t believe that’s true? Then you are part of the problem.

Look. Around. You. On your next flight, give it a shot. See how many people put their seats back. I rarely even see it on redeye flights, I think the last time I saw a large number of seats back was an international flight overnight, everyone was asleep. But on a midday flight, when most people are going to spend the flight working on their laptops, watching a movie, reading a book, etc., it is JUST PLAIN RUDE to put your seat back.

I am currently borrowing Liza’s MacBook Air to write this and I can’t even open the laptop all the way to see the screen properly because this rather large cis white guy in front of me released his seat a few minutes ago right INTO MY LAP. Without even looking. Without even checking around him. So, I am riding from one coast to the other—the whole way—with a complete stranger practically laying in my lap. I don’t think I have ever let someone this close to me for such a long span of time that I wasn’t sleeping with. This guy didn’t even buy me a drink.

You think maybe I’m being ridiculous? Am I complaining too much? Have you ever gotten the side of your thigh pinched by a bus seat because the guy that got on at the last stop just threw himself into the seat, legs spread wide, so that he practically landed on you and your skin got pinched between him and your seat? Because I certainly have.

I have had a guy so far into my personal space on the train that he has almost elbowed me in the face while digging through his backpack and NOT EVEN NOTICED.

And I. HAVE. HAD. IT. This is WAR, gentlemen. I am not going to take it anymore. No more Miss Nice Roo!

From now on, you sit on me, you invade my space, you bounce back and forth in a pushed back airline seat, so my laptop snaps open and closed and my track pad is jammed into my pouch? You are going to get PUSHED BACK!

I’m going to use the biggest gestures you have ever seen to reach into my purse and check my make-up, I’m going to spread my long Kanga feet all the way out, so it pushes your knees back where they belong. I am going to elbow you in the ribs looking for my phone. I’m going to place my tail to the one side of me and move around so much that it migrates into your space and rubs up against YOUR thigh and makes YOU uncomfortable! Give you a taste of you own creepy medicine! Show you what it’s like to feel invisible!

And I won’t look around, I won’t demurely say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘pardon me’, or ‘excuse me.’ No. I’m just going to look you right in the eye and stare you down, so you’ll know that it’s intentional, so you’ll know I’m giving you back what you're giving me. I’m paying back the rudeness, the selfishness and the narcissism that MAKES YOU DO THAT!

oh yes, gentlemen, the time has come.

#manspreading #mansplained #feminism #travel #flying #themillenimals

Recent Posts

See All

The Millenimals are headed to STITCHES UNITED in Hartford, CT March 26-29, 2020 at the Connecticuit Convention Center, 100 Columbus Blvd Be there or be a plane figure with four equal straight sides an

bottom of page